EL ENFOQUE CORRECTO

In today’s world of technology we do not have ample opportunity to get personal. Life is fast-paced and everyone seems to be in a rush.  We dial the phone and we talk to machines. We spend long hours on the computer playing games, emailing one another or working with our web pages. Even in the office environment, we email the person in the cubicle 3 feet away instead of walking over to hand them a task list.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love technology. I cannot imagine ever being without my computer and am guilty of spending a large part of my day working on line. The computer and Internet afford many opportunities. Now at no charge outside of my Internet connection I can communicate with persons all over the world. If screened carefully young people have a world of education available at their fingertips. I could continue to expound on the many benefits that technology has brought into our lives. However, that is not the gist of this article.

As a result of the technological age of today’s world, our personal touch with one another is decreasing. We need to take full advantage of the opportunity to be personal. Humans are becoming strangers to one another. People are in a hurry to get on with the business of living and walk past each other on the street without even a nod.

Have you wondered why there is so much clinical depression in the world today? Ask yourself why our young people are so distressed. Why so many of them attempt suicide or worse the murder of their classmates or families. Do you conclude as I do that we need more of a personal touch?

Have you taken notice to how you felt when you were standing in line at a bank and someone turned and smiled at you. Prior to that smile you were feeling very anxious, possibly tapping your foot in impatience. You weren’t very happy to be there waiting in a long line. You had things to get done and you were getting more frustrated by the minute.  It was one of the mundane drudgeries we all have to go through. Then comes this smile from the person in the line next to you and suddenly you feel much better. You are compelled to smile back. You do so without giving it thought, as though it is a natural inclination to reciprocate the smile.

Think about it, don’t you feel compelled to smile back when someone smiles at you? Doesn’t if lift your mood, and bring you out of a frustrated frame of mind? But that smile does so much more than that.  It makes you feel accepted and liked. Somebody cares, and shares the things you go through. It makes you part of a group, a integral part of the human race. If you do not think that our society, do research into why our young people join gangs. The kids will tell you they are seeking to belong, to be a part of something. The gang becomes an extension of the family.

There is power in the smile, you see. It’s as though that instant someone waved a wand and all the drudgery disappeared. You suddenly feel warm and responsive and the person who offered you a smile has just gone from a stranger to be wary of to a kindred spirit. Sometimes a conversation is started and now the mundane drudgery has actually become an enjoyable experience. You no longer feel frustrated and rushed and in spite of yourself and enjoying yourself. The world is now warm and fuzzy instead of cold, fearful and bitter.

I do not mean to imply that giving and receiving a smile is the solution to the world’s problems, but it is a very good place to start. We all need to feel that sense of belonging. We are after all members of the same human family. We should feel moved to embrace each other in our hearts and minds.

So go ahead and smile. I dare you. But be careful. You might find the world a friendlier place to live. You might find that people are warm and kind and appreciative. Your smile might just make their day.

I am one of those people who can easily slip into a very negative state of mind. The slightest knockback or problem can lead to a cloud of doom descending over me, a cloud which I find hard to push away and remove. This article looks at ways in which we can fight back, to quickly get us back into a happy mode.

I used to be quite a fragile character, some would say that I was even scared of my own shadow. I was always paranoid that people were talking about me and laughing behind my back.

Even though my parents are superb, I was not a happy child or a happy teenager. I am so unlucky you see or so I thought. I walked around as if the world owed me something and would often feel very sorry for myself. I was bullied at school, it was more mental bullying rather than anything physical. I am sure that most people also get bullied and deal with it. It would leave me in a state of panic and depression. Looking back I have to say I was a bit of a wimp in reality.

I decided that enough was enough by my mid-twenties and decided it was time to toughen up. I could not continue to live my life as I had been, as I would probably be dead by the time I was fifty.




I then went about a self-help program to increase my overall self-confidence and self-esteem. I wanted to learn more about stress-management, dealing with depression, relaxation and about how to become successful in life.

What I found out over the next twelve to eighteen months would change my life forever.

These are the things I had to do:

I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes I am not perfect but who is.

I had to think in a more positive way.

I had to stop worrying about the future.

I had to stop caring what other people thought of me.

I needed to smile more.

I needed to learn to relax. I now use meditation for this purpose.

I had to learn to like myself.

I needed to become stronger to fight away the negative thoughts in my head.

I needed to appreciate what I did have in life, rather than concentrating on what I had not.


I started to implement the above and it helped me no end. That horrible cloud of doom, still descended however, around once a month. When it does descend, I now write two lists. What I am happy about in life and what I am sad or worrying about. I then analyse both lists and more times than not, I am actually over-reacting.

In conclusion, life is a battle. There are good times and bad. We need to become strong and learn to think in a more positive way. We have to fight back against people who bully us and against the voices in our head who are trying to make us panic. This is not easy, however with determination people are able to turn their life around just like I have.

I used to feel anger towards the people who bullied me at school. I now feel sorry for them. They are the bad apples and I prey for them. I prey that God will one day make them pure.

One of the problems that affect us humans is a state of mind referred to as depression.

Exactly what is depression?

Why do we suddenly find ourselves stuck in a sea of inertia, unable to think positively, unable to hold on to positive thoughts, frozen in a zombie like state of inactivity?

Even experts disagree on the core causes of depression and the methods of treatment. Should they be palliative or something more uncompromising?

This is of course no help to us if we are immersed in the thickening fog of a bout of depression.

If we ever find ourselves in a state of depression we must find and build from within the strength, the motivation, the wish and the will to conquer this debilitating mind set.

First of all we have to accept that we alone allowed ourselves to drift into this parlous way of thinking.

The trigger could have been any one of a million reasons and may well have been an external event over which we had no control, however the antidote  has to be found within us and is under our control.

The first thing we need to understand is that we are not alone.

Read the newspapers and watch TV and over and over again there are accounts of people we would probably regard as ’having everything’ checking themselves into this or that clinic for help with some problem or other.

What for one person may be simply a mild set back can for another become the trigger which then sets off the internal self defeating process of the ‘poor me’ syndrome.

Why is it that a situation which is a mild irritation for one person can lead another to almost suicidal tendencies?

The answer is because we are all different in some way.

A visit to one of the many web sites offering behavioural profiling services will help you to identify your personal style as a first step to better understanding yourself

Once you understand why you react the way you do to certain situations you may then set about arranging your life so as to avoid those situations in the future or at least be better prepared to handle them when they do confront you.

Understanding yourself and why you react the way you do to situations with which you are faced is a prime initial requisite for self help with depression.

Learning, understanding and accepting that we can control what we allow to be accepted as fact by our brain is the next step. So often an initial perception turns out to be inaccurate.  Generally speaking nothing is ever so bad or, as good as it may at first appear.

What is important is to understand that it is possible for us to move to a position where we take preventative steps to ensure that we stay clear of infectious negative thoughts in the future.

Negative thoughts are the seed pearls of depression. These negative thoughts and internal video recordings of past failure and disappointment clog up our brain. They lay there dormant just waiting for the right set of circumstances to explode into action and cloud our thinking.

The late Dr. Hall, a clinical psychologist of international renown devoted his life to helping people understand who they were and then encouraging them to take the necessary steps to become who they really wanted to be.

Doctor George Hall discovered that it is possible to install a brain filter which stops negatives from being accepted by the brain. Just as we may install a virus checker or a firewall on our PC or Lap top we can install the same preventative systems in our brain.

Dr. Hall developed a personal development course called ‘Human Cybernetics’ it was a blueprint to follow for those who really did want to self improve and fully develop their potential in life.

I was privileged to be a student of Dr. Hall in 1975 and the tutorials he led were life changing for those of us fortunate enough to be exposed to his teachings.

Dangerous self talk and replaying internal tapes of past failures and disappointments he always propounded to be the most debilitating of activities a human being could engage in as this activity served only to reinforce a negative self image.

Negative self talk must immediately be replaced by constructive self talk and optimistic visual imaginings. Those negative tapes and videos in the mind must be deleted and recorded over with new images of success and achievement.

There are many self help courses available today. Try running a search on personal development or something similar and you will find many, many sites offering help and assistance much of which is free of charge.

There are also sites offering self-awareness questionnaires which are designed to help you focus on any deep seated negatives which may be holding you back from achieving your life dreams.

This may then be used by you as a platform from which to launch your new beginnings.

Self help for depression is all about taking that first step to control your future thoughts and activity.

Decide today to take charge of your life and to live it as you want to and not as others would have you live it.

Whatever you do, do it for you!

Depression and anxiety appear to be two different emotional responses humans are capable of having.  We do not usually associate these two disorders with each other. But research has shown that depression and anxiety do in fact co-exist, much to the detriment of their sufferers.

When you picture someone with depression you think of all the normal symptoms associated with it: Despair, hopelessness, anger, fatigue, an unwillingness to be a part of society and a feeling of being overwhelmed by everyday life. A depressed person withdraws into themselves and seek to sever all ties with the outside world.

Anxiety attacks on the other hand seem to happen for no reason at all. Feelings of fear and panic happen in situations in which most people would be perfectly calm. These anxiety attacks come on suddenly with no warning and with no outright reason for them to happen. After awhile a sufferer of these attacks begins to live in fear of the attacks themselves, wondering when the next one is going to happen. Before long, and without treatment, both anxiety attacks and depression can begin to affect the sufferers lives in negative ways by not allowing them to hold a job, have a relationship, or even go out into society

What many sufferers of these two diseases do not realize is that either one can lead to the other.  Being depressed can weigh heavily on the mind leading the depressed person through a maze of different emotions. This in itself can lead to anxiety and eventually panic attacks. Panic attacks signify a loss of control and when this happens more and more often the sufferer can become depressed with their situation of not knowing if and when the next attack will occur.

Why these two disorders seem to occur at the same time is still largely unknown. But many studies show that major depression is often accompanied by an anxiety disorder. Both are likely caused by an imbalance in brain chemistry, but exactly why the two seemingly opposite disorders can coexist in the same person is not completely understood. What is understood about anxiety disorder is that the fight-or-flight reaction in the brain does not work the way it is supposed to. It can go off at any time, even in seemingly peaceful situations. Those who have anxiety disorder always feel that they are in danger.

One thing that psychologist agree on is that having a combination depression and anxiety is much more debilitating than having just one or the other. It can take patients with both disorders a much longer amount of time to resolve their depression which makes treating them much harder. It has also been shown that people who suffer from anxiety and depression both have a much higher suicide rate.

While this sounds bad their are options for treating both these conditions. Anti-depressant medications can be used to treat both depression and anxiety. When these medications are used in conjunction with behavioral therapy there is a high success rate of treating depression accompanied by anxiety.

Many studies have been done to research the effects of motivation and mental health. As the implications of helping those with negative self-esteem, depression and anxiety are immense this is certainly an area of research that deserves a great deal of attention.

Psychology Online reports on a study investigating the differences between INTERNAL and EXTERNAL MOTIVATION. The report states that "Although our society is largely extrinsically-motivated by external rewards such as money, fame and power, research has indicated those who are intrinsically-motivated by inner desires for creativity, fulfillment and inner satisfaction are psychologically healthier and happier."

How can this help you?

The study of health psychology seeks to understand how our ability to cope with stress can help us to prevent illness and promote health. Some of these coping mechanisms are naturally inborn but may be taught to those who lack them. Motivation is one of the tools that researchers are trying to use as a combatant of negative stress reactions.

Motivation is something that we use every day. It's what enables us to survive - to get food because we're hungry, to go to work to pay the bills or to educate ourselves in order to pursue a higher goal in life.

How we respond to life's demands can affect our overall health. How are you classified?

The same report on Psychology Online identified those who respond to life with negativity or anxiety as most likely to deal with the physical affects of anger, guilt, nervousness, frustration and fear. These emotions can cause hypertension and high blood pressure which can lead to heart attack or stroke. Other complications include ulcers, arthritis, asthma and kidney disease.

Some therapists suggest that by using positive self-talk and trying to restructure the WAY we look at events can offset the physical and mental effects of dealing with negative or stressful events in life.

Interestingly, people who tend to focus on themselves as the controller of their fate - in fact 'self-motivated' - are more likely to feel a sense of control when stressors affect them. Instead of blaming something or someone else they have the motivation to deal with a problem and look for a reasonable solution. This positive behavior helps them to achieve goals and find personal contentment.

Therapists try to teach patients how to emulate this positive reaction to stress and use their motivation as a source of empowerment. Learning to manage stress and using motivation to set goals, work through a problem or fix it can in turn promote better mental and physical health.